This weekend I decided to tell my sister and my uncle and aunt about my predicament. It wasn’t an easy decision but as I always call them on Sundays I wasn’t sure I could pretend everything was fine when I know it wasn’t. Also, Sunday was my sister’s birthday and therefore I didn’t see myself telling her then so I called her on Saturday.

She was shocked to say the least and very upset understandable and I think a little mad at me for telling her before I had the full extent of my results. Anger is normal, I don’t think she was really angry with me. Maybe I didn’t deal with it the best way but I just didn’t know how to sugarcoat it so I went straight in.

That obviously made me nervous about telling my uncle. To give you a little background, my uncle is like my big brother to me. We partly grew up together because my mother had me very young (and there was a biggish age difference between her and my uncle) and I was raised by her parents as she couldn’t be bothered. He is an important part of my life and I know he is a lot more sensitive than he lets on…so I was worried, especially because my grandad is just recovering from major surgery. Strangely, he took it a lot better than I thought. Probably helped that his wife’s mother had breast cancer 20 years ago and is still here to tell the tale. My aunt was very good with it too so it probably helped him feel more positive about it.

It was a lot harder than I thought to tell my family because I know they will worry, especially because they can’t be here to help me and hold my hand.

We decided not to tell my grandparents as the last few months have been hard on them with my Grandad’s health issues and recovery. We thought that they would not deal with it well if I tell them over the phone and no one is there to reassure them, so we will tell them together, face to face at Christmas. Byt then I will have had the operation and probably started the treatment so we will even have a much better idea of the prognostic.

I told my friend L. as well as she knew about the biopsy and I wasn’t looking forward to that. Not because I thought she would take it badly but because I was sure she was going to try to push some of her “chemical free” beauty product (she got into network marketing for a company that sell, supposedly chemical free beauty products for an exorbitant price) and low and behold, although she didn’t try to sell them, she couldn’t help telling me that I needed to switch my deodorant to paraben free one and then try to give me dietary advice (she has done a nutrition course). I really can’t deal with stuff like that but to be sure I asked my specialist nurse today and she said not to worry about these things.