I feel the worse…

I went under the impression that the first couple days are the worst and that you get then get better…but as I don’t seem to be able to do like everybody else, my first couple days were ok, although Sunday started the pain thanks to the immune system booster injection I had to do on Saturday…Yesterday, I spent the day feeling really, really achy and had to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon as the pain was just too draining… I thought, that’s it, the worst is over now, from tomorrow I’ll start feeling better.

Nuh uh! I had the worst night so far. Not being able to find a comfortable position as my skeleton just hurts all over. I feel like Wolverine must have felt when he was given an enhanced exoskeleton….at least that’s how I imagine he must have felt. It’s like I am going through a massive growth spurt from all the bones in my body. All night I could feel all my bones being stretched and which ever position I tried to settle in didn’t work for more than a couple seconds. When the alarm went off this morning (I am still trying to keep a schedule) I was relieved but still feeling really shit and with a little of a sore throat so I thought, shit, let’s check my temperature. And low and behold, although I didn’t leave the house yesterday, I managed to get myself a fever. 8am this morning and I had 38.8 temp (Celsius)! Maybe I shouldn’t have gone for that walk on Sunday…

I jumped in the shower (I haven’t washed my hair in a couple days and felt minging) thinking the hot water might soothe the pain in my body…it did, a bit and had the added benefit of lowering my temp to 38.6.

I gobbled a couple of ibuprofen for the pain and fever and had to take a couple of those tablets for nausea as suddenly I felt queasy just looking at myself in the mirror! I mean, I was just standing there, checking how awful I look and I felt like chucking. First time since the chemo…how unfair is that?

I have been taking my temp every 30 mins since 8am and it’s going down so that is a good sign but the pain in my body is not diminishing and I am not sure if it is right or expected…so as soon as 9am hit the clock, I called the chemo unit. The nurse had told me to call if I had any temp or else. Unfortunately for me, today, they only start at 10am but they promised to call me back. I really hope she is just going to say, that’s fine and the pain will recede in a couple hours because I don’t know how long I can deal with the achy-ness. And I really sure hope that this was the worst and that next time will be a doddle because I am not sure I’ll have the strength to take the medication if it is going to make me feel like that again.