… I would take away all the guilt my friends feel.

{Open random parenthesis} Now I know this is a very odd way to start a post, or to even title it. So before I go into the thick of it, I feel I have to give you a small explanation. The title is a lyric line from a song from Stereophonics. I used to love them. I mean I was seriously addicted and when I saw that line, I thought it had to be the weirdest and most wonderful thing to say in a song…it made a change from the usual insipid lyrics. So this is why I am using it. Just because I love it. {Close random parethesis}

So now to the subject of my post. Guilt.

A few days ago, I saw one of my friends’ status update on FB saying something in the lines of “I was ranting about my tenant issues when I saw my friend’s post on how she hopes to be in remission and fit to run for a charity race in June. That’s me told” and it made me feel the need to say something about it…

She was feeling guilty because she had been b*tching about some crappy issue she was dealing with whilst I had just published my “race for life” post. Now in it, if you haven’t read it (although really you should), I say how I am hopeful that by the time the race is on, I will be in remission and recovered from surgery… Suddenly she felt that she had no rights to feel stressed about tenancy agreements when her friend was dealing with cancer…

Now, I won’t deny that having cancer sucks. I would definitely prefer not having to deal with it, but – and there is always but, isn’t there? – it doesn’t mean that people can’t feel sorry for themselves or rant about having a bad day just because what they have to deal with is not on par with my health issues! I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that “my problems might be insignificant compares to yours, but they are my problems and therefore, to me, they are more important than yours!” and I always felt it sounded right. It is undeniable that if you look outside your bubble, you will always find somewhere, someone who has to deal with worse than you do…I mean, look at me, even with what I have to deal with, I know there are people who have worse problems that me as well. Actually all things considered, I am having it quite easy despite the seriousness of my illness.

Guilt is, in my opinion, is a useless feeling. It won’t get you anywhere, it won’t make you grow as a person. It just wastes energy that could be used much more productively. So to all my friends who read this, and to those people whom I don’t know but also kindly follow me, I say, don’t feel guilty for having a good moan about your problems just because relatively speaking you think I am more entitled to. Having a good moan allows you to externalise your issue instead of keeping bottled up and there is a known correlation between stress and illness (I could quote a few research papers here but this is not an essay) and it is really not worth it. So let go of the guilt, live your life, bitch, moan and complain even about the little things as it might prevent you from having to bitch, moan about bigger things in the future. But don’t spend too much time doing it either…I knew a girl who whined about stuff every day, that is also not very healthy. If you have too many things to complain about, then maybe it is time to assess your life and make some changes, so you don’t have to moan so much any more ; then again it’s just my humble opinion…like guilt, constant moaning is a waste of energy.

Everything in moderation as they say…a little bit of everything is ok, too much and you are taking your chances…

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