It has been roughly six months since my last post…sorry about that. I needed to not think about it too much whilst I was waiting for the time for my check up scan.

What has happened in six months? Well, I have been on Letrozole and Zoladex combo for this duration, plus I was switched from Clexane to Rivaroxaban tablets as blood thinner and apart from having the return of the hot flushes (flashes? I never know which one it is) which a friend of mine calls “personal summers” (a lot more poetic, don’t you think?) and I am going to steal that, I have been feeling fine. More than that actually, having joined a different gym with better classes, I have been feeling great.

I also got myself a couple weeks holiday in the US (you can check out what I got up to here) which was fantastic…I was on a high. We had agreed with the oncologist consultant to wait until I got back to get the scan. No reasons to spoil a perfectly good holiday.

The week I got back, I got the sad news that two young women – one I knew and one I knew her husband – had passed in the past couple months. I was brought back down to earth a little too sharply. I won’t lie to you, I had a terrible few days after hearing the sad news. I felt terrible for their family of course…but I also felt scared for myself for the first time since my diagnosis 18 months ago. I don’t allow myself to be scared too often but with those 2 news literally days from each other, I just couldn’t block it.

Neither women had the same cancer as me. One had a rare form of breast cancer, the other had a gastro-uterine one…yet, because of the familiarity to them, it felt a little too close to home. I didn’t tell my family about that as I didn’t want to worry them and honestly there is no reasons to think that I am not ok…if you discount the fact that I have secondary breast cancer in my lungs and that I cannot be cured any more, well at least not according to today’s medical progress.

So this is with this knowledge that I went to my six months check CT scan. I am quite a pro at those now so it was done swiftly and without a fuss. Now I just have to wait for the results. If I was a religious person, I would probably pray at this stage to ensure that for one, I get a positive outcome from a scan. But I am not so I can only hope that it will be…

Until next week….keep strong.

USA May 2014
USA May 2014